March 20, 2024

How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser & Discover Authenticity


This week on the Wake the F*** Up, Alix and David sit down for a deep dive into living authentically. First up on the docket is people-pleasing. As a recovering/former people-pleaser Alix is an expert on this topic and has been wanting to cover it for a while. She shares her experience with people-pleasing as a trauma response, as well as related topics like self-sabotage, and tips and learnings she has found on her journey of saying “no” to people-pleasing.  

Later in the episode, Alix and David talk about past traumas and how they can impact behaviors in current relationships. This will be familiar for any of our listeners who have experienced major loss, grief or trauma. Alix shares more on her journey to authenticity after losing her first husband Carl, highlighting that an essential step to embracing authenticity is vulnerability. She notes that one of the big parts of “waking up” comes when you transition from valuing the appearance of happiness to genuine contentment.

So, how do you recover from being a people-pleaser? Therapy may help! In this episode, you’ll hear Alix and David talk about their journey with therapy, personal growth and the significance of authenticity in all relationships, even in the face of challenging societal expectations. We’ve included many personal-growth resources they mentioned below.

Stick around for the end of the episode when our hosts discuss self-abandonment, and how hiding one's true self can lead to deep feelings of loneliness. Good communication is essential for bridging the internal and external selves. Another crucial tool for breaking self-abandonment patterns is acknowledging bodily responses to stress — Alix takes a quick detour into Polyvagal Theory for those interested. We hope that this episode can serve as a primer for anyone looking to heal from people-pleasing tendencies and embrace authenticity for fulfilling relationships.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

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More episodes
April 24, 2024

Tune in to You: How to Listen to Your Mind and Body

April 17, 2024

Anxiety Q&A with Alix and David

April 10, 2024

Polyvagal theory: Body Responses and Coping Strategies for Anxiety

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